I have many thoughts about Taylor Swift that many people reading this probably know. None of them are positive, aside from the fact her first hit was written about me. Teardrops on my Guitar — “Drew looks at me.” 

That said, I’ll keep my review as unbiased as I can. T-Swizzle is not an exception to the 8th commandment. Unfortunately for her, it might improve if she were.

The first notes on Lover ,“I Forgot that You Existed,” harken back to 1989. Upbeat and poppy, they signal a departure from 2017 Reputation’s edgy Taylor and the lyrics return to monologues for, to, and of ex-boyfriends. Then the chorus hits, and it’s just a little… bland? Unremarkable? Not what the world loved about Red, assuredly.

Ok, so a weak opener. Nothing an international star with 10 Grammys can’t recover from. Every album deserves a second chance, and “Cruel Summer” (not to be confused with Kanye West’s G.O.O.D Music Presents Cruel Summer project) is why. I promise I won’t compare everything in this album to 1989, but “Cruel Summer” could’ve been on it. I can guarantee you will hear this song blasting from cars as you walk down the street for years to come. 

Which can’t be said about “Lover.” Lyrics like “You’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me, and at every table, I’ll save you a seat, lover” should be illegal. 

“The Man” brings back edgy Taylor—and I’m here for it? I think? I don’t write for Torrey Gazette to opine on larger societal discussions, which is what the fourth track on this album is definitely here for— lyrics like “Cause if I was a man, then I’d be the man” are striving to be the milquetoast anthem of 2019 feminism. But I’ve bumped it off and on for a week. 

So far Taylor’s hits and misses on this album, and really that’s all that can be said about the 18(!) track long Lover. When it hits, it hits. But half of the album feels like waiting for the 30 second ad to wrap up so you can watch that video on Youtube.

In addition to the above, the hits are as follows: “Paper Rings” is a likable spunky love anthem; “Death by a Thousand Cuts” and “Soon You’ll Get Better” (feat. Dixie Chicks) makes you wonder “what if Taylor had never stopped her country-ish sound?” “False God” was either created by Noah Gundersen and sold to Swift for a pretty penny or the first thing Taylor thought of after listening to “Wrong Side.”

While I wanted to hate this album wholesale, I simply can’t. It’s not great, and often sounds like a collection of slightly undercooked ideas, but more songs will survive on Lover than on Reputation. It’s also the 2nd best album titled Lover that came out last month. 

But let’s never forget why we’re still talking about Taylor Swift: Kanye West made her famous.