Profiling Like a Boss

Dear video-taping patriot at Southpark Meadows,

I noticed your American flag t-shirt and tripod pretty quickly as we drove to get gas at Sam's on Friday. My wife and I had miscommunicated when she needed our nursing child. I was at the girl's dinner too early and needed to waste some time. So I drove over to get our vehicle filled up with gas. We drove past you on our way to the gas pump and it took me awhile to realize that your tripod was pointed at the Marine/Navy/Air Force recruitment center. I am familiar with recent events. I still found your course of action a little foolish.

It took us awhile to get our gas. There was a line to pay for gas that is way over-taxed. When we did finally finish, I drove past you again to reach the liquor mecca called Spec's. Fortuitously, someone walked in front of me forcing me to stop right in front of you. I admit that I turned my head your direction and shook my head at you. I do not fully understand what you thought you were accomplishing. I have never seen someone who wants to attack a public place afraid of recording equipment. I can only assume you had a firearm concealed somewhere on your person. Perhaps the video camera was to justify any potential behavior if something occurred?

When I started to drive away it took me awhile to realize what was happening. You looked a little winded as you picked up the tripod and moved into the street to ensure the camera get a good look at my minivan. Apparently, my long beard and hair had made an impression upon you. You should know, it is not comforting to know you thought me a potential threat worthy of being filmed. The issue continues to burrow in my mind. I almost think I made the story up because of how incredulous it was. 

I was driving my six-month-old minivan with my two-year-old and six-month-old. I have been profiled before by TSA. My middle name is "random bag and body search" for crying out loud. But when I walk through the very same security with my children TSA leaves me alone. I have even gotten to skip the full body scanners on multiple occasions. It's shit that they do this, but at least I get to make jokes about how awful they are at their job.  You, sir, are a completely different story. You are in no position of authority or protection whatsoever. There was no reason for you to profile me. This added layer of self-ordained patriotic protection is simply ridiculous. I am glad my children were not old enough to realize that their father was being profiled for having long hair and a long beard.

It appears though that this is where we are in the world. Keep 'Merica safe buddy.  

- The Bearded Guy